help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
