I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
