He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
