I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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