did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
where are my eyebrows?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
