Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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