and she was petting her beer can
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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