Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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