I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
