I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
