is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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