Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Randomize
