Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
