spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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