woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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