That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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