I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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