Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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