She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
