Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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