And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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