I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
