I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
