White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
