That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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