i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
