just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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