I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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