I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
