That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
