Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
