thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
