Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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