You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
