the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
