And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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