just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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