mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
