Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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