My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
