ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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