he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize