She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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