I murdered the dance floor call the cops
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
