I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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