You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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