So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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