i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
