In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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