she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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