dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
