I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
