we made out on top of his cat.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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