3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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