Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
