And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
