we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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