We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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