When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
