I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
