he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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