I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
