well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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