So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
